


Say Anything (Else)

by TobyAddison



Series: 10 Songfics Challenge [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cartel, Cassidy is a unisex name okay, High School, Human Castiel, M/M, Songfic, and yes Cas's last name is supposed to be kind of a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-23 17:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobyAddison/pseuds/TobyAddison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seventeen-year-old Dean Winchester has always known he was bisexual, even though he had never dated a boy. But that's about to change when Cas Lord moves in from out of state. Songfic of "Say Anything (Else)" by Cartel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Anything (Else)

**Author's Note:**

> The second part of my 10 Songfics Challenge! Basically what I'm doing is I put my iPod on shuffle and I will be writing ten unrelated songfics from the first ten songs that came up. This is of "Say Anything (Else)" by Cartel, which you can listen to here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxcVORJ4SB8

Dean Winchester had known he was bisexual for a very long time, even though he had only dated girls. There hadn’t been a question about it. Girls were hot, and so were boys, and Dean would willingly bang members of either sex. The only reason he hadn’t dated a boy yet was because all the boys at his school were either not hot enough or not interested.

Or, at least, that was how it had been before Cas Lord transferred in from out of state.

Cas was… Cas was gorgeous, to say the least. He had dark brown hair kept just long enough to curl down over his forehead, and he was one of those guys who could _most definitely_ pull off the “designer stubble” look and did so on many an occasion. Dean had been close enough to him once to see the color of his eyes, and they were such brilliant shade of sapphire blue, it was almost unreal. A magnificent jawline set him off, along with a cleft chin that added to his face rather than taking away from it. He was just a few inches shorter than Dean, the perfect height for Dean to rest his arms on the shorter boy’s shoulders while they kissed.

Not that that had ever happened.

Because Dean Winchester knew he was bi, but Cas Lord wasn’t sure what he was.

Dean was pretty sure Cas knew, but just wasn’t going to admit it to himself.

_And, baby, don’t follow their lead_  
 _‘Cause you’ll never know_  
 _Just how the story ends or how the story goes,_  
 _And you are so confused,_  
 _And, baby, it’s just like you_  
 _To say anything else._

Cassidy Lord had never dated anyone. Hell, to the best of his memory, he had never even been interested in anyone, so when Dean Winchester showed up with those crazy green eyes on his first day at a new school, he hadn’t known exactly how to react. After a few weeks, it became clear to Cas that Dean was interested in him. The question was this: was _Cas_ interested in _Dean?_

Dean certainly was attractive. Cas could admit that much. Dark blonde hair flopping into his face, brilliant gem-colored green eyes sparkling with every word Cas said, a spattering of freckles across his nose and cheekbones, and defined muscles hidden underneath plaid shirts… if Cas had had a type, Dean would probably be it.

But Cas wasn’t good with people, period, and romantic feelings were in the far reaches of his emotional spectrum. And just because he could sometimes read what people were thinking and feeling didn’t mean he actually knew what _he_ was thinking and feeling.

It was a big mess.

_Whenever you get this way,_  
 _Just getting up for the letdown,_  
 _Mmm, here they come, and, yes, they’re here to stay,_  
 _Just getting up for the letdown._

Dean wasn’t good at reading people – not like Cas was – but he was pretty sure he knew Cas was doubting himself. If he hadn’t been, they probably would’ve been dating by now.

At least, that’s what Dean thought.

Somehow, he knew he could convince Cas it was okay to like him and okay to be with him. The only thing in the way was the fact that Cas thought way too damn much.

But Dean would make it work.

_Oh, I’m here to say that you’re the star you wanna be._  
 _Just open up and look inside and you will see, yeah…_  
 _Someday you’ll sing it out loud;_  
 _One day this’ll make you proud._  
 _Whoa, “I know…”_  
 _Whoa-oh._

It wasn’t just that Cas wasn’t sure about his sexuality or his feelings towards Dean Winchester. He was pretty sure he liked Dean, but he didn’t think Dean knew what he was getting into. Cas’s mind was pretty well messed up, and so was his life.

“Daddy issues” didn’t even begin to cover it.

Cas didn’t know where his dad was – he had left not long after Cas had been born – and his mom had been hooked on alcohol and heroin almost his entire life. Without a proper father figure, Cas had been left to build up a fantasy of what his dad was like, and over the years he became almost godlike in Cas’s mind. When he finally got to meet his dad, it had been a tragic disappointment. Cas’s father was an alcoholic like his mother, and addicted to gambling as well. Then he’d disappeared not long after he had come back, and Cas hadn’t seen him since.

Cas had been thirteen years old.

Now, four years later, his mother had been put in jail for dealing drugs, and Cas had been forced to move in with his grandmother in Kansas. It hadn’t been the worst thing that had happened to him, but it certainly could’ve been better. At least now his house actually smelled decent, rather than stinking of alcohol and vomit.

Dean Winchester didn’t know any of this.

If he did, he probably would’ve run away at soon as possible.

_It’s time for you to understand,_  
 _Stop getting up for the letdown._  
 _Oh, who you are is not up to them._  
 _Stop getting up for the letdown._

Dean Winchester didn’t have a perfect life, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let that stop him. He and his little brother Sammy basically lived on their own. Their mom had died when Sam was a baby, and their dad would disappear for weeks at a time on “hunting trips”. Dean wasn’t exactly sure what John Winchester actually did when he was gone. It certainly included drinking, though.

Sammy was in eighth grade this year, and he was some kind of whiz kid. He wanted to go to Stanford after high school. (Dean didn’t want to tell him they most definitely did _not_ have enough money to send him there.) Dean cared a lot about his little brother, even though his little brother didn’t seem to care a whole lot about him. Sam was only thirteen, though. It would change. Most likely.

Dean’s few memories of his mother Mary were hazy, and his dad was barely around enough for Dean to have an opinion of him. He had a feeling his father was a good man at heart, but something had changed after Mary had died.

It didn’t matter. Dean and Sam had gotten along pretty well without their dad there, and it had never bothered Dean much. As long as the CPS never found out they spent most of the time on their own, they would be okay.

Dean Winchester didn’t have the best life. But he sure as hell wasn’t going to let that get in between him and Cas Lord.

_Oh, I’m here to say that you’re the star you wanna be._  
 _Just open up and look inside and you will see, yeah…_  
 _Someday you’ll sing it out loud;_  
 _One day this’ll make you proud._  
 _Whoa, “I know…”_  
 _“I know” is never good enough._

Cas Lord moved to Kansas in October of his senior year. Dean Winchester got fed up and kissed him in January.

Cas panicked. They had just been walking home from school – Cas normally hung out at Dean’s house for a while before going home for dinner – when all of the sudden he was being pushed up against the back wall of an abandoned building and Dean’s hands were in his hair and their lips crashed together and Dean’s tongue slipped in and _God, it felt good_ and Cas found his arms wound around Dean’s neck and suddenly the realization hit him that _he was kissing Dean Winchester_ and Cas pushed him away.

Cas could see the confusion and slight hurt on Dean’s face, but it was nothing compared to the look of terror Cas knew was on his own. “I’m sorry– I–” Cas stammered, before managing to spit out “I have to go” and running in the opposite direction.

He hoped Dean would understand, because Cas sure as hell didn’t.

_So say what you want,_  
 _(You know I’m wasting all my time.)_  
 _You gotta mean it when you say what you want._  
 _(You’re only safe when you’re alone.)_  
 _When everybody’s on your mind,_  
 _Saying anything to get you by._

Dean didn’t see Cas for nearly a week after that, except for in the handful of classes they had together. Even in those – even in the one class the seating chart had them sitting next to each other – Cas wouldn’t make eye contact, turning away whenever Dean looked in his direction.

Dean finally chased Cas down after physics on Thursday. He still wouldn’t look Dean in the eye, even as Dean grabbed his arm and squeezed it gently. “We need to talk.”

_And, so, to get what you want,_  
 _(You know I’m wasting all my time.)_  
 _You gotta mean it when you say what you want._  
 _(You’re only safe when you’re alone.)_  
 _You’re wasting everybody’s time._  
 _You’re saying anything that gets you by._  
 _It’s not, not, not gonna get you,_  
 _G-gonna get you by._

“I’m sorry, man. I freaked out; it’s not your fault–” Cas started, but Dean cut him off.

“No, it _is_ my fault. _I’m_ sorry. I rushed you into it, and obviously you weren’t comfortable with it, and I’ll back off now and we’ll never mention it again. Is that alright with you?” Dean let go of Cas’s arm, moving his hand to awkwardly scratch at the back of his neck.

Cas looked at the other boy, narrowing his eyes into the squint Dean always made fun of him for. He kept it up long enough to make Dean uncomfortable, and Dean finally stammered out, “What?”

Cas shook his head. “Dean Winchester, you’re a smart guy, but you are also such an idiot.” He barely left enough time for Dean to react with confusion before grabbing on to Dean’s hair and kissing him in the middle of the hallway.

_Someday you’ll sing it out loud;_  
 _One day this’ll make you proud._  
 _Whoa, “I know…”_  
 _Whoa-oh._  
 _Whoa, “I know…”_  
 _“I know” is never good enough._


End file.
